unexpected answers

I surprised myself a few nights ago when just as we were passing by the entrance to Mesa Verde on the drive back to Cortez, I heard myself saying to Dave that I'd always live on the Colorado Plateau.  That this was my place.

I don't even remember what we were talking about.  But I do recall being aware of that big mesa flanking my left and the view opening up to the ring of plateaus and mountains that surround us here in the Four Corners.  I paused.  I had just expressed an answer to a lot of questions I'd been having and I didn't expect it to present itself at that moment.  I thought I was still wondering. 

There's never been a doubt in my mind that I love this place, but I have thought that maybe it couldn't be everything that I needed.  That all this natural beauty and heart-filling landscapes and communities full of people dear to me might be lacking in something that exists out there somewhere else.  Something that makes it easier to be an artist.   Opportunity.  Connections.  Infrastructure.  Critical mass. 

So I spent most of 2019 casting my net about.  I looked at what other places had that maybe we don't and talked to other artists about what it was like to do what they do in the place where they are.   And all the while I kept circling here like a turkey vulture, keeping an keen eye out for just the right thing to present itself but not committing to landing until it did.

And what I slowly started to see was that life is rather tricky to maneuver through no matter where you are.  And that opportunity is embedded in community.  And that you're lucky if you've found a place you love.  The rest is just attitude and perspective.

So I think I'm going to try just holding steady in 2020 and see what may come from appreciating and exploring this very place.  Where I already live.  And where, apparently, I plan to stay.

Lots of love to you in this New Year.

~ Rosie